Pre Menopause

WTH! If you saw my very first video blog, I was a nervous, crying mess. The day after I posted that to my sight, I spent six hours in the ER trying to find out why I wasn’t feeling like myself. There is no definition of normal to follow. I just knew whatever was going on was not your normal bipolar or borderline episode. I literally could not breathe and my hands were trembling, my heart beating uncontrollably. I even yelled at my granddaughters, which yes they needed disciplined. But not in that tone. That is not me, even on my worst day.

To make a long story short, I was diagnosed as premenopausal. Oh boy! If this is a sign of what’s to come I’m pretty sure everyone will divorce me.

My poor husband, I abused him so badly that for the first time in 20 years of knowing me and nearly five years of marriage, he mentioned the D word.

It would be different if it was just a menopause diagnosis, but combined with my other mood disorders it really is a concern for me.

I watched my video several times before I posted it and was fine with it. The next day I was like I sure do hope it helped someone, I was a freaking mess.

So if anyone reads this that has experience in the menopause and other mood disorders combined, I sure could use some advice.

Published by Jill L. Ware

Hello! I am a lot of things. First and foremost, I am me. Like it or leave it I believe God made me just as I am. That I need to go through these trials and tribulation to become who it is I am meant to be. does it suck? yes it does. I have two sons and three granddaughter and one on the way. I've been diagnosed with bipolar and borderline personality disorder for several years. This is a way to let my words out, get them out of my head. You are not alone in your struggle with these diseases, it's exhausting trying to be normal. Or what we percieve as normal.

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