Blog, Poetry

The Hike

Walking along the beaten path, trodden down by travelers past.

A creek runs parallel along the way, upon the banks it’s ripples play.

A twig snaps from some place near, it is my friend Mr. Deer.

The yipping of a fox heard from afar, telling me stay where you are.

This terrain can be a beast, it isn’t easy to say the least.

The beauty that I see, worth the trek to me.

The raccoon wears his menacing mask, foraging is his task.

As I near rabbits scurry away, after I pass returning to their play.

The squirrel it’s agility freeing, is content with being.

Hawks glide above with style and grace, something special is this place.


Call Your Psychiatrist

Everyone smiles for the camera

I know the importance of routine mental health appointments throughout the year. It did not occur to me the entire six weeks I laid in bed my depression and anxiety in full swing.

I assumed it had only been a few months since my last mental health visit. In fact it had been six months.

This week I had a visit with my long time psychiatrist. He reminded me that if I am struggling in between visits that I can call for a visit.

It’s amazing the insight and advice from someone outside my usual sounding boards. Where am I going with this? If you are sad, anxious, depressed or having a hard time functioning in this crazy world we live in. Seeking help can make a huge difference. Tell someone else your crap can really lighten your load.


My 29 year Old Son and His Diabetes Journey

A couple of weeks ago my son made a male Wellness visit with a doctor. After his first appointment he was diagnosed with what is called 1.5 diabetes or Lada. They didn’t diagnose him as type one because of his age, or type two because he’s very lean and tall.

When the doctor first drew his blood it was 360. In 3 weeks he has gotten his numbers to be in the 120 range but occasionally he will get a good-sized spike. Hence, now he has celiac disease also. Since he started cutting the gluten out of his meals it has eliminated his spikes.

Let me say that my son other than his appendix out and Eyeglasses has never been sick. But his body had been requiring an app most afternoons. About a week into his new lifestyle he thought he was losing his eyesight. Not even. Without his glasses he has 20/20 vision now. That being said he started having vision problems at 15. I believe that is how long he has had this.

The doctor had my son go in for an ultrasound on his pancreas and kidneys do to the several years with the high sugars and to see if there’s any damage instead what they found was a tumor on his liver he is waiting for an appointment for that has not taken care of yet.

My son is amazing he just rolls with the punches. He must have gotten that gene from his father. As a parent I feel like I failed him somehow like it was my job as a parent to know something was wrong with him all the way back to his teens. It’s been about 3 weeks and he has his numbers looking much better. If anyone would like to share some advice to a learner diabetic it would be greatly appreciated.



I sit here in this apartment thinking to myself, “These walls are closing in on me.”. I feel the urge to organize and clean. ” How can I arrange the furniture to open it up more?” I ask myself.

I can feel it happening. The old habit of always having to find faults in circumstances and relationships. Yes, I am medicated and doing the best I can to change my thoughts. Knowing I have bipolar and BPD helps me to watch my behaviors and reactions to others behaviors. I have gotten so much better. Progress no matter how small is still progress.

It’s embarrassing to tell people I moved again, change cars or switch things I collect or hobbies. With my BPD I always feel the need to change things up. Luckily I have a husband and family I can discuss my thoughts with and not be judged by them. I refrain from telling acquaintances certain things for fear of being judged. Not that it would happen. It is all the self doubt and me.

Most the time just telling someone my thoughts and bouncing them off of them they can give me ideas or advice. I get a new perspective on things. I focus on certain things and miss other things going on around me. I’m missing others dealing with their stuff. It’s not all about me! It’s not all about me!