Was My Junk Inherited or A Consequence of My Traumas?

I do believe that a majority of my junk was inherited.. And that life traumas made the diseases progress. After my parents divorced as a young child I begin stuttering and talking too fast. No amount of speech therapy fixed it. I still do it in anxious situations. It is amazing how dysfunctional your childhoodContinue reading “Was My Junk Inherited or A Consequence of My Traumas?”

A Good Day!

I put together a puzzle today. It seems to help when I’m struggling mentally. My problem is that my Lithium and Wellbutrin slow me down. Sometimes life gets so busy I can’t keep up, then I intentionally stop my psychiatric medications so I can not be so run down. Then first two weeks are great,Continue reading “A Good Day!”

I’m a terrible sister

My sister and I both suffer from bpd and bipolar. Anxiety , depression and whatever else you want to throw in there. For several years now I’ve had to be stronger for her. Handle her with kid gloves you might say. We both have suicidal tendencies. I have attempted twice. She is my best friendContinue reading “I’m a terrible sister”

I’m a spoiled brat

My husband and I are one of those couples that everyone wants to be like. But he is afraid of the wrath he will reap if he tells me “no”. I don’t like that. I struggle to not act like a spoiled rotten bitch. Most the time succeeding. But today I lost my shit. IContinue reading “I’m a spoiled brat”

Granddaughters

What a week it has been. I had my granddaughters most of the week. The four year old has been not feeling well. Apparently her dad told her the other day that she was being rude. So now when we say anything she doesn’t like we are being rude. Children. The six year old IContinue reading “Granddaughters”

I could be so much worse

As I sit here getting my chemo treatment, I watch and listen to those around me. I am blessed. There are so many in pain and sick from their treatments. Over the years I see patients come and go. Some are now cancer free others didn’t beat their disease. I really appreciate the life GodContinue reading “I could be so much worse”

What a Blessed woman I Am

This Mother’s Day was great. It’s the first time in years we all got together in one place. As a person with BPD I have had bad behaviors or toxic marriages that have interfered with my relationships with my children and grandchildren. Knock on wood. My behavior is better, my husband and best friend isContinue reading “What a Blessed woman I Am”

Unrest In The World

I have no idea if this is just racism, or if it’s political tactics, or just plain stupidity. But for those of us with already underlining mental issues it can make us uneasy, paranoid and just plain scared. Oh wait! You don’t even have to have mental illness to have this affect your lives andContinue reading “Unrest In The World”