Living with and overcoming Bipolar and Borderline Personality Disorder
We are all blessed with gifts we can’t see.
What are yours, what could they be?
Look close upon you what the Savior has bestowed.
It isn’t anything you were owed.
It was by the grace of God you were saved,
All your sins could be waived.
Accept the Father with an open heart,
From all the others you will be set apart.
Share with others all you’ve been gifted,
So they also may have their spirits lifted.
Your blessings are bountiful,
Don’t you see, God made you beautiful!
Jill L. Ware
Let me say this loud and clear,
Don’t always believe of me what you hear.
My mind has been partitioned-rearranged,
Rendering my previous behaviors changed.
Learning to say no and stand my ground,
Hasn’t left many of my so called friends around.
With me that’s absolutely fine,
I truly enjoy alone most of the time.
For those I use to enable,
Feel free to sit at a different table.
Maybe you’ll learn to take care of you,
I have done all I can do.
From here on out I must take care of me,
I am a changed woman, watch and see!
Jill L. Ware
Putting others needs before my own, it is a behavior that I’ve always known.
Never learning to say No, making it impossible to just go.
I need some quite time just for me, a place to go and just Be.
Exhaustion isn’t far away, it’s lurking just around the Bay.
I am busy as can be, slowing down is only up to me.
My body is weak as my mind races on, my strength nearly gone.
Tomorrow is a new day, and I’m sure No is a word you won’t hear me say.
I’ll try to find strength to carry on, after all every day starts with a new dawn.
I just want to find time for myself!
She lived her life only for that day,
Walking alone and scared.
If she knew the world would be this way,
She never would have cared.
She cries herself to sleep,
To her, his promises he’d never keep.
Her pillow soaking up the tears,
To her months felt like years.
How he truly felt she was unaware,
Otherwise, she wouldn’t of followed him everywhere.
He wasn’t just her friend,
Sooner or later it was destined to end.
She plays scenarios over in her head,
She’s sure his actions weren’t misread.
She knows it wasn’t a lie,
That he loved her and didn’t have to try.
It seems 100 years have gone by,
He rejects her, I don’t know why.
She will forgive him once again,
So that her mind he doesn’t win.
I am she,
And no longer need him to love me.
Jill L. Ware
#depression #love #bipolar #borderline
He Knows all of my secrets,
Yet he loves me.
There are no regrets,
With me he desires to be.
He has a temper at times,
Not near as harsh as mine.
We’ve been friends for so long,
There is no way this can go wrong.
He holds me and lets me cry,
Spoils me, that I can’t deny.
I’ve been told, of me he’s afraid,
It’s been long enough his debt should be paid.
It doesn’t make me feel good,
If I could change it I would.
I can’t forget what he did,
For many years what he hid.
Just when I think we can move on,
Again the trust is gone.
If I could just forgive his digressions,
With one of his obsessions.
I love him, he is my mate,
I pray for us it’s not to late.
Jill L. Ware
#bipolar #infidelity
Quiet Please
I wish I could slow down, take a break.
I thought it would be different at the lake.
But my mind just does not stop,
My brain is full, about to pop.
What was it I forgot to do,
I’m sorry if I yelled at you.
Straighten the rug please,
Hurry before someone sees.
Who cares if it’s not straight,
Hurry before it’s to late,
I hate that I am manic,
But it isn’t going to make me panic.
Don’t worry it’s not my first episode,
It ‘ll be better after I explode.
Just pray you aren’t the one in my path,
Or likely it will be you that catches my wrath
I am nice as most of you see,
But it’s not all fun to be me.
I struggle to keep my head straight,
Sometimes feeling I never left the gate.
Now my brain isn’t so wired,
In matter of fact I am quite tired.
I’ll pray for tomorrow to be a better day,
So off to bed I am on my way.
Jill L. Ware
Take Action
I’m an older version of who I was at seventeen.
Trying to forget where I’ve been and what I’ve seen.
Finding joy to the left and to the right.
To these old eyes is quite a sight.
Sticks and stones will break your bones.
And words will destroy you.
Fantasize, dream, take action.
Get going while you have traction.
You are what holds you back,
Self esteem you lack.
It was taken away,
It will return one day.
Surround yourself with good,
Life will be better than you ever thought it could.
Smile, laugh, cry and live,
You have more than you will ever know to give.
Jill L. Ware
#depression #anxiety #Borderlinepersonalitydisorder #bipolar
Quarantine
The majority of our country is quarantined,
From a virus called COVID-19.
Many of us afraid, as we should be.
Restrictions have been made, now we wait and see.
This does not only affect me,
For thousands of deaths there will be.
Please tell family and friends to stay away,
They can come visit another day.
Pray that our wait isn’t long,
And that the statistics are wrong.
When this finally ends,
Will normal ever be again?
I See
A deer grazing as I pass by,
A Majestic bird soaring in the sky.
The waves wash upon the shore,
The mighty elm next door.
A vibrant cardinal perched in a tree,
The dolphin as it crosses the sea.
A mountain off in the distance,
The Rockies for instance.
The innocent smile of a baby,
The beauty in every Lady.
The strength and honor of man,
Imagine, see all that I can. Believe there is a God.
And that he could end us with a nod.
See all that I see.
My Eldest Brother
He was just a teenager full of curiosity,
After that day the same he would never be.
All his curiosity left behind,
It was a desire for Christ he would find.
Thank goodness for the ones he loves,
He spends his time praying to the heavens above.
For the sins he thinks we commit,
He would pace and pray before he’d sit.
He has one of the kindest souls you will ever find,
A little leery but always kind.
Always reminding me how much every one needs me,
Which is something I don’t always see.
He is my eldest brother,
I would not want another.
Jill L. Ware
Our Roses Were Yellow 
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