Feeling Really Messed Up Lately

I don’t know if it’s from turning fifty or that this pandemic has caused financial strain and anxiety in my life. The one thing I can be sure of is that my husband has probably thought about divorcing me. I would if I were him. Just when my moods couldn’t get any worse, my husbandContinue reading “Feeling Really Messed Up Lately”

The Revenge Screw

When I started this journey into blogging I stated I would mention the good the bad and the ugly. I didn’t just mean everyone else behavior. After all I do have bipolar and borderline personality disorder. I don’t have the behaviors near as often anymore. occasionally they do sneak out. FYI this was many yearsContinue reading “The Revenge Screw”

Where There Is Fear There Is No Faith!

That saying is complete bull! Fear is a natural reaction to certain situations. Everyone was created different, so their reactions to things will be different. I have an absolute fear of snakes, my niece adores them. Does that mean she has faith and I do not. NO. We just fear different things and that isContinue reading “Where There Is Fear There Is No Faith!”

Concrete Walls Without Windows Are A Prison To A Child!

My sister has always said this big eyes photo reminds her of us as children living in the basement. Except her pet was stuffed. After my mother and father divorced our mother married a Yellow Freight driver that she had met while waiting tables in a truck stop. He was quite a bit older thanContinue reading “Concrete Walls Without Windows Are A Prison To A Child!”

Was My Junk Inherited or A Consequence of My Traumas?

I do believe that a majority of my junk was inherited.. And that life traumas made the diseases progress. After my parents divorced as a young child I begin stuttering and talking too fast. No amount of speech therapy fixed it. I still do it in anxious situations. It is amazing how dysfunctional your childhoodContinue reading “Was My Junk Inherited or A Consequence of My Traumas?”

A Good Day!

I put together a puzzle today. It seems to help when I’m struggling mentally. My problem is that my Lithium and Wellbutrin slow me down. Sometimes life gets so busy I can’t keep up, then I intentionally stop my psychiatric medications so I can not be so run down. Then first two weeks are great,Continue reading “A Good Day!”

I’m a terrible sister

My sister and I both suffer from bpd and bipolar. Anxiety , depression and whatever else you want to throw in there. For several years now I’ve had to be stronger for her. Handle her with kid gloves you might say. We both have suicidal tendencies. I have attempted twice. She is my best friendContinue reading “I’m a terrible sister”

I’m a spoiled brat

My husband and I are one of those couples that everyone wants to be like. But he is afraid of the wrath he will reap if he tells me “no”. I don’t like that. I struggle to not act like a spoiled rotten bitch. Most the time succeeding. But today I lost my shit. IContinue reading “I’m a spoiled brat”

Share Your Blessings

We are all blessed with gifts we can’t see. What are yours, what could they be? Look close upon you what the Savior has bestowed. It isn’t anything you were owed. It was by the grace of God you were saved, All your sins could be waived. Accept the Father with an open heart, FromContinue reading “Share Your Blessings”

Changed Woman

Let me say this loud and clear, Don’t always believe of me what you hear. My mind has been partitioned-rearranged, Rendering my previous behaviors changed. Learning to say no and stand my ground, Hasn’t left many of my so called friends around. With me that’s absolutely fine, I truly enjoy alone most of the time.Continue reading “Changed Woman”