Blog, Where There Is Fear There Is No Faith

Where There Is Fear There Is No Faith!

That saying is complete bull! Fear is a natural reaction to certain situations. Everyone was created different, so their reactions to things will be different.

I have an absolute fear of snakes, my niece adores them. Does that mean she has faith and I do not. NO. We just fear different things and that is okay.

One of my biggest fears is riding in a car that gets to close to the shoulder. I’m going to tell you how this fear became a part of who I am. It was not bred into me. Trauma or torcher depending on how you look at it, created it in me.

Husband number three was so nice and sweet, and a hard worker to boot. Things changed quickly after we married. I had married a controlling monster. He controlled me in many ways, but this one stuck.

On the way to Sunday morning service, which was quite a drive he got to close to the shoulder, when he saw me flinch his exact words were, “where there is fear there is no faith”. Until I acted not afraid he continued to drive like that. From that day on it was one of his games with me.

One day our vehicle broke down in traffic. I began crying, he sat there and refused to fix it until I quit crying. One of the last times I road with him he had set cruise control at 45mph on the interstate. I asked if he was trying to get us killed. He reset the cruise for 35mph.

I did eventually divorce him. The fear he caused in me followed me to the wonderful husband I have now. In the beginning when he’d see me cringe while he was driving he’d get defensive. Four years later he asks me if I’m okay. And tries to stay away from the shoulder as much as possible.

All of the little imperfections or glitches in us make us unique. Just have faith and never let your fears consume you!

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Mother’s Day Fun

I haven’t blogged for a little while. What happens is when I let go of the hurt and pain and anger I can write. But when I’m hurt or angry I have a hard time getting my focus back. I let the stupidest things affect my thoughts. Someone I hadn’t seen in several years told me they had no desire to see or talk to me. Why would I let that affect me? I hadn’t seen or talked to him in 13 years. But knowing that someone you once loved despises you so much that that can be that hurtful to you is totally insane. But that I let it mess my head up is what’s insane. Especially when I have all of these beautiful people in my life. They know me more than anyone and continue to love me daily. #imtogoodforhim #bpd #family