Tag: friends

Poetry

Where The Green Grass Grows

Jill L. Ware

Water your lawn that it might grow, come to life as if tending ones soul.

Pay no attention to the neighboring blades of grass, the green doesn’t always last.

Some days wilted and pale, “Help!” I hear the neighboring grass yell.

I ignore it as many times before, I beg of you to tend your lawn more.

Add a bit of sun and a little water, tend it as if it were a daughter.

The neighboring grass is quite a sight, yet being there does not feel right.

Tend your own pastures, lawns and gardens, tell you neighbor 1,000 pardons.

I’m sorry if often I stray, God keep me on your path I pray.

The neighboring blades of grass entice with the afternoon sun staring back at me, I am wise to its tricks you see.

In your own yard take a little pride, the grass is not always greener on the other side.

Jill L. Ware

Poetry, young love

Young Love

Jill L. Ware

Those lips and how they made me feel,

Never had anything felt so real,

Thoughts of you pour like rain.

I’d sell my soul to taste them once again.

I visit you in my dreams.

We, you’ve forgotten it seems.

I don’t fight them anymore,         

Are you just as you were before,

I prayed one day I’d be your wife,

And with you i would spend my life,

Together we had been.

Our love destined not to win.

It lives on in my memories,

I miss you when no one sees.

Jill L. Ware

Blog, Pre Menopause

Pre Menopause

Jill L. Ware

WTH! If you saw my very first video blog, I was a nervous, crying mess. The day after I posted that to my sight, I spent six hours in the ER trying to find out why I wasn’t feeling like myself. There is no definition of normal to follow. I just knew whatever was going on was not your normal bipolar or borderline episode. I literally could not breathe and my hands were trembling, my heart beating uncontrollably. I even yelled at my granddaughters, which yes they needed disciplined. But not in that tone. That is not me, even on my worst day.

To make a long story short, I was diagnosed as premenopausal. Oh boy! If this is a sign of what’s to come I’m pretty sure everyone will divorce me.

My poor husband, I abused him so badly that for the first time in 20 years of knowing me and nearly five years of marriage, he mentioned the D word.

It would be different if it was just a menopause diagnosis, but combined with my other mood disorders it really is a concern for me.

I watched my video several times before I posted it and was fine with it. The next day I was like I sure do hope it helped someone, I was a freaking mess.

So if anyone reads this that has experience in the menopause and other mood disorders combined, I sure could use some advice.

Poetry

Share Your Blessings

Jill L. Ware

We are all blessed with gifts we can’t see.

What are yours, what could they be?

Look close upon you what the Savior has bestowed.

It isn’t anything you were owed.

It was by the grace of God you were saved,

All your sins could be waived.

Accept the Father with an open heart,

From all the others you will be set apart.

Share with others all you’ve been gifted,

So they also may have their spirits lifted.

Your blessings are bountiful,

Don’t you see, God made you beautiful!

Jill L. Ware

Poetry

Changed Woman

Jill L. Ware

Let me say this loud and clear,

Don’t always believe of me what you hear.

My mind has been partitioned-rearranged,

Rendering my previous behaviors changed.

Learning to say no and stand my ground,

Hasn’t left many of my so called friends around.

With me that’s absolutely fine,

I truly enjoy alone most of the time.

For those I use to enable,

Feel free to sit at a different table.

Maybe you’ll learn to take care of you,

I have done all I can do.

From here on out I must take care of me,

I am a changed woman, watch and see!

Jill L. Ware

Blog, God Gave Me Her

God gave me her to be strong when I am not and vise versa.

Jill L. Ware

My sister and I are never well at the same time. Sometimes months, sometimes years one of us has to be strong and watch over the other. We have the same diseases but it’s as if we trade places on a dime. I thank God that we are on separate axis or something, Lord forbid when we are both ill at the same time.

#bipolar #depression #borderlinepersonalitydisorder